Are you interested in how to improve relations in the family? An extensive list of tips for peaceful conflict resolution and mutual understanding.
It is quite difficult to build a strong family, whose life would not be overshadowed by any quarrels, scandals, or other unpleasant moments.
Sometimes the situation becomes so neglected that couples or parents with children no longer have any idea how to establish relations in the family .
And yet, there are no cups that can’t be glued together.
And if you take a good glue, but show due diligence and caution, then the places of gluing will not be visible and this very cup (family) will serve you for many years.
Yes, my dear readers will forgive me, but I believe that there are families (mainly it concerns the husband–wife relationship) that are not worth saving, because as they say in the insanely popular TV series today: “What is dead, can not die”. 🙂
There are cases when it is not necessary to try to establish relations in the family: A
complete lack of love and mutual understanding.
All your conflicts and misunderstandings are due to the fact that you do not love each other.
So why suffer?
Do you think it’s easy for them to grow up in such a terrible atmosphere of eternal quarrels?
Living with a domestic tyrant.
It does not matter what gender he is: male or female, but if you constantly become a victim of psychological attacks, insults, infidelities, beatings, then in this case you should not try to establish a relationship, but run away from such a terrible person.
You’re both fine with that.
Yes, of course, you sigh that you are terribly tired of these quarrels and diligently look for recipes for how to improve relations in the family, but deep down you are both happy that you are such an interesting “Italian” couple whose quarrels end in passionate reconciliations.
If you learned your own in the described cases, then this article is unlikely to be useful to you, because your problems lie in a completely different plane.
Before you can establish a relationship in the family, you need to find the cause of the problems.
No normal doctor will write a prescription for a drug before making an accurate diagnosis.
Problems in your family can be caused by a variety of reasons, so you need to eliminate them in different ways.
The most common causes of conflicts:
None of the partners wants to make concessions and remain silent at the right time. Lack of mutual understanding – you can’t agree on anything. One partner tries to completely re-educate the other, although he resists with all his might, or the parents can not stop teaching their long-grown child. The husband or wife (and often both) lack care and attention. Child psychological trauma caused voluntarily or unwittingly to a child by a parent / s. The inability to contain their emotions, a violent reaction to some very small event (oh, how many times too emotional women were honored to be called hysterics).
Unwillingness to learn from your mistakes.
Well, for example, there are people who find it difficult to wake up in the morning.
All you have to do is leave them alone for half an hour to give them time to wake up.
So no, some wives / husbands climb it after waking up, and then wonder: “What are you shouting?”. Cheating on one of the partners is one of the most difficult problems, after which it is quite difficult to establish relations in the family.
Of course, there may be other reasons for conflicts, because everything is quite individual.
It is important for you to understand what constantly prevents you from establishing relationships in the family and eliminate it.
How can a couple establish a relationship in the family?
Many boys also draw a rather idyllic picture: he comes from work to a clean, cozy house, where he smells of pies and borscht, his wife, like an angel, never raises her voice and calmly treats the desire to “drink a beer with the boys” or “go fishing for the weekend”.
In fact, conflicts in most families begin immediately after the honeymoon.
By themselves, conflicts are not terrible – there are no couples who at least sometimes do not quarrel.
The main thing is to learn from your scandals so that they do not repeat themselves.
To improve relations in the family will help:
Candid conversations: what exactly does not suit one of the partners and how to solve this problem. The ability to compromise, especially in moments that do not play too serious a role. Taking care of each other on both domestic and other levels. Constant work on relationships (reading specialized literature will not hurt). Finding ways to preserve love and romance throughout the years of marriage. Respect for each other – as soon as you start to descend to aggression and direct insults during quarrels, it will become more and more difficult to establish relations. The ability to close your mouth in time, not to grumble about anything and not to openly criticize your partner’s shortcomings – after all, you yourself connected your life with him and could not help noticing these shortcomings before the wedding. Calm and only calm, especially if you see that a storm is brewing.
How to establish family relations between children and parents?
A family is not always a husband and wife, it is also children and parents (the parents of the husband/wife and you).
The main reason for conflicts between parents and their children is that the former can not accept the fact that the latter have grown up and continue to teach them every minute.
This is exactly the situation that my former colleague had: she worked as an accountant in our firm, earned a good living, lived separately from her parents with her husband, but her mother still gave her a lot of advice, told her how to act in this or that situation, called 150 times a day, came constantly to visit and criticized, criticized, criticized.
In this case, you can only settle the matter with a serious conversation: try to firmly, but calmly and respectfully convey to your parents the information that you have long been an adult and do not need such serious care.
You love them, respect them, and appreciate them for everything they’ve done for you, but you don’t want them to lead your adult life.
If talking doesn’t help, try to distance yourself a little from your parents:
do not immediately answer each of their calls-teach them that during working hours you can not be constantly in touch; curtail the conversation if the “land of soviets” begins again, which you did not ask for; do not pay them visits every day (and do not allow them to constantly hang out at your house), as for me, meetings of adult children with mothers-dads once a week is quite enough; do not complain about any, small – scale troubles-learn to solve problems yourself.
My advice only applies to adult adults.
If a teenage reader tries to improve relations in the family, explaining that he has been an adult for a long time, I will disappoint you: only those who live separately from their parents and are financially independent can be considered adults.
While this is not the case, you will have to listen to the opinion of mom and dad.
And the following video will also tell you about how to establish relations with parents for adults
: It is not
enough just to establish relations in the family, you need not to spoil them again.
Peace, which was established with great difficulties, must be appreciated with all our might.
If you have long and hard tried to establish a relationship with your husband/wife, mom/dad, then you do not need to immediately spoil them again.
Here are a couple of tips for those who want to avoid further conflicts:
Make some concessions to strengthen your position, but don’t let it get on your head. Set a taboo on scandals – as soon as you see that the conversation is already being raised, take a time out, calm down and return to it again when the passions subside. Do not worry about trifles – they are not worth your nerves. Often make each other pleasant surprises. Take care and love your close family members, you will definitely regret your careless attitude towards them later.
It is not so difficult to cope with how to establish relationships in the family .
It’s just that many people prefer military action instead of resolving the conflict peacefully.