For some dudes who don’t want to be burdened with the holy bonds of marriage right now and who are just sick of children, meeting a single mother is a real nightmare. In my entire life, I have met a huge number of absolutely adequate bro who were sure that meeting a girl who had a marriage and had children from it, absolute stupidity. “There are so many girls around, man, why take the one who has a child in her arms? I understand that she can be cool, but why not make your child to the girl who does not have it yet? ” – not so long ago, a fairly close friend and former colleague told me. By the way, he always ran away from girls with children.
But if you want to get a girl, a single mother, you have to understand that the usual approaches do not work here. Also, please do not need too much sympathy. So be honest and sincere.
The methods are different.
Unfortunately, we are used to connecting the experiences of our previous relationships with a new girl. But the approach to a single mother should be somewhat different. Of course, the essence of dating is to make an impression and thus win. This never changes. But the methods should be different. We are all equal. That is, a woman has every reason to give the green light or not to give it, the fact that no one asks a woman is an illusion. Be prepared even for the fact that a single mother will completely erase all the things that you thought about women before, and change your approach to them. If you are so sunk in the heart of this girl, be ready for a serious change.
Cool moms everywhere.
If you have a beautiful single mom in your field of vision, you urgently need to develop a strategy to earn her trust. Now forget about the strategies. Your main weapon is honesty. Give up the selfish desire to possess and think about the line that you and she must cross.
Don’t mess with her. She’s been fooled before, so she’s got a nose for it. Its defense mechanisms may be weak, of course, but they are there. What a single mother can’t stand is the repetition of the past. The fact that she’s a mother and single is kind of a hint, isn’t it? Most likely, she is quite well versed in the games that men play. And I’m not talking about poker, man! You’ll have to sweat a lot.
There’s something else. This is a child, it also needs to be taken into account. In order to start dating this girl, you need to settle the relationship with her. And with her baby. But a little realism doesn’t hurt, man. Do you think your life is hard? So, this girl is much more difficult! She is responsible for herself and for another life. She doesn’t have much time for herself, and she still has work to do.
Minuses.
As you can see, the flaw in a relationship with a single mother is her baggage. She has more responsibilities than you, more bills to pay, more problems, and a lot of stress. Her life is much more serious than yours. And she has much less time for leisure.
The main part of her compassion, loyalty and sympathy was scored by her child. Can you fight for second place? Because for the most part, her child will receive significantly more of her love by default. You must be able to understand and accept this fact.
And the child may start to hate you…
No one will blame a child for hating you for no apparent reason. You’re a different man. You’re a bit of a threat in his father’s place, whether you like it or not. There is no rule in winning a child’s attention. Of course, you can advise to work on the relationship with the mother and wait for the child to catch up. But I will not recommend this approach, because the child is still important.
Expect resistance and resentment, no matter how sincere and likable you are. You are in an extremely difficult life situation, which will require a lot of time and effort to make the conditions comfortable. Are you ready for such a sacrifice? Make sure that this woman is worth it, or else you will ruin more than just her life.
No risk without reward.
The advantage of a single mother is that she knows all the conditions of the game and somehow needs a relationship. For most girls, you need some kind of translator to understand what they mean. A single mother doesn’t have time to be playful and mysterious. She will sincerely tell you what she expects and wants from you.
Now you too are freed from the need to be insincere. A single mother welcomes honesty and empathy more than other women who have suffered in the past from insensitive actions or affairs. She needs to change diapers, work and teach the baby the basics of life, do you think she has time to fight with your cockroaches in your head and indecision? So go ahead and tell her the truth.
The reward for a relationship with a single mother can be the most significant. She may end up being the most loyal and loving woman you’ve ever met, if you show patience and compassion from the start.
Her child will perceive you as a family friend, and later as a father. You will do well for the whole family! But if you don’t want to commit, go away, don’t ruin people’s lives!