How to distinguish a harmonious relationship from a destructive one?
How to distinguish healthy relationships from unhealthy ones that have no future? Addicts, toxic, neurotic-whatever you want to call them. The point is that unhealthy relationships do not bring real happiness, but are its surrogate. They are perfectly characterized by the proverb “together is sick, apart is boring”. That is, in fact, people who are in a relationship do not enjoy them, but the thought of breaking up also gives them pain. Such relationships are associated with a state of anxiety, a vague or obvious feeling that your interests are not taken into account, they practice models that sooner or later lead to neuroses and psychosomatic disorders. However, sometimes unhealthy relationships do not look like that from the outside — they also have dates, passion, a candy-bouquet period, and often neither the surrounding people, nor even the victim herself can identify that something is going wrong. However, psychologists highlight the following alarm bells that clearly indicate that your relationship is dangerous and unhealthy.
- There is no feeling of joy, flight.
A very non-obvious sign that usually characterizes the beginning of a love relationship. In an unhealthy relationship, joy may be present at the initial stage, but it never lasts long. Warning signs appear soon — first in an innocent joke that makes you uncomfortable, and later in a ban that he will explain by saying that he cares about you. These relationships not only do not inspire, but, on the contrary, land you. There is a feeling that you have clipped your wings, deprived of freedom, that you do not always do what you want to do. If the relationship lasts for a long time, then sooner or later there is a feeling of emptiness, fatigue and depression. Getting out of them becomes more and more difficult over time, as the victim loses the will and sense of reality.
- All attempts to clarify the relationship are unconstructive.
For example, when you’re worried that something is going wrong, you want to talk. It’s sound and constructive. Only now all your words and arguments seem to flow away in vain. In fact, it turns out to be a clarification for the sake of clarification. Trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong does not lead to anything. On the contrary, in the process everything is turned upside down, you get away from the essence of the problem, and already there is a feeling that you are all wrong. Familiar? If so, then you should know that such discussions are an example of violating the boundaries of personality and manipulative behavior of a partner. Instead of a real discussion, you get a headache, and you’re not at all happy that you started this.