If you used to have time to do a hundred things at the same time, now you constantly catch yourself thinking: “I don’t know what to do in this situation”, “I’m not sure I can handle it”, “Am I really doing everything right?”Often the reason for this is a reduced self-esteem. And it doesn’t come out of nowhere. If your husband constantly says that you do not understand anything and do not know how, that you can not be trusted to solve the simplest issues and that you will definitely not be able to cope without him – this is a reason to think.
You are locked in four walls.
Your day is strictly regulated, and your schedule is controlled by your husband. In which stores and when you make purchases, which sections and clubs you take your children to. All this is presented under the guise of caring: “I always need to know where you are, so that in case of problems I can come to the rescue.” At first, it causes emotion – loves, protects. And then you realize that this is simply total control, from which it is almost impossible to escape.
All your friends have gradually disappeared from your life.
Not so long ago, you organized incendiary parties, went for a walk with friends, visited exhibitions and the theater, and now you don’t even have anyone to call. The social circle was reduced to a husband, children, and – at best-immediate family. How did this happen? Perhaps the husband said: “We don’t need anyone, you are the whole universe to me!”. And you were melting. Or he pursed his lips in displeasure every time he found guests at home – and you did not want to annoy your loved one once again. As a result, you are left all alone – and there is no one to fill this vacuum in communication.
Your life revolves around your family.
It would seem that there is nothing wrong with this? Really, nothing if that’s what makes you happy. If you really enjoy spending time with your children and your husband, and you don’t even dream of anything else. Another thing is if you are quietly turned into a domestic servant, not caring about your desires.
Your husband makes fun of your interests.
Any attempts to start a hobby or hobby that is not related to her husband are stopped. In the course at first, there may be persuasion, then followed by ridicule: “Do you have nothing else to do?”, ” Yes, at your age, it’s just a shame to do this!”, “You should think about the children, and not suffer nonsense”. As a result, you are absorbed in everyday life, and life seems hopeless.
You gave up your job and your career.
“No, dear, don’t. I will provide for the family!”. It sounds logical: a man openly undertakes to support you and your children. And what in return? Full dependence on the spouse, first of all, financial. The husband gets an excellent leverage, which is often followed by reproaches that you live on everything ready, and therefore you owe everything to him.
You no longer feel feminine and desirable.
The husband often allows himself offensive statements about your figure and appearance in general: “eaten up”, “aged”, “completely launched himself”. But you watch your diet, exercise regularly, do not neglect makeup and do not go home in dressing gowns. But you feel that your husband’s interest in you has decreased or disappeared altogether. And, of course, blame yourself. But in fact, the partner just systematically tramples you into the mud, forcing you to believe in your own unattractiveness.
Your authority in the family comes last.
If the word of the spouse in the family is the law, then even the children do not put you in anything. It is useless for them to forbid something or to demand the performance of household duties. What kind of respect and authority can we talk about if your husband behaves disdainfully towards you?
Your emotional state is unstable.
You feel attacks of anxiety or even panic, you may cry for no reason, you feel a decline in strength. Such states can be replaced by apathy, when there is nothing to care about, and life moves along a well-trodden rut. You do everything on autopilot, not really delving into what is happening. This is all a very disturbing signal.
Your interests take a back seat.
“I’ve been working all day, and I want to relax in the evening, and not do household chores”, “Your courses will wait, I want to buy a new phone”. If your husband often makes such arguments, then you should stop and think – what do you want? And how long have you allowed yourself to want something? After all, you are also a person, with your own needs, which are worthy of attention and respect.
Toxic relationships are dangerous not only because they lead to disappointment in a loved one. But also by the fact that they can cause serious harm to your psychoemotional and physical health. That’s why it’s so important to understand what’s going on in your life. And decide whether it’s time to change something in it.