How to stop being afraid of girls?
The nature of the fear approach.
It would seem, why would a guy suddenly be afraid of girls? Women are physically weaker than men, and do not possess deadly fangs or sharp claws. In general, they are less aggressive and do not have a tendency to assault, if you take mentally healthy girls. Nevertheless, the fear of girls is one of the most common fears among guys.
The peculiarity of girls ‘ fear is that it is beyond the control of the mind. A guy can strongly want to meet and communicate with girls, start relationships. To understand that there is no danger in this, but at the same time to experience a strong excitement again and again from the very thought of approaching the girl you like and talking to her.
Many find excuses for their inaction: “I don’t look like this right now,” “I’m not in the right mood,” “I need to read a pickup book and then get acquainted,” “I’ll make money first, then I’ll have a relationship,” and similar excuses. Others still overdo themselves, get acquainted through the force, and the fear does not disappear even after hundreds of approaches.
The thing is that the fear of girls is an unconscious reaction of the body. The body, through uncomfortable sensations (a lump in the throat, squeezing in the chest, weakness in the legs), signals us that there may be danger in this situation and the survival instincts are activated: to run, to attack, to freeze, to hide. Therefore, someone may want to become “invisible” when a beautiful girl looks at him. The other’s feet “carry themselves” away from the bench where two friends are sitting, to whom he wanted to approach.
You can read a dozen books on dating, take a pick-up training, repeat to yourself that communication with girls is normal. But the body will still react in the old way, because the problem is deeper than our consciousness, in the subconscious part of the psyche.
The fear of girls is a complex problem and often this phobia itself consists of several other social fears. For example, a guy may be afraid of girls because when meeting others, they may think badly of him. Here, the fear of approach is actually derived from the fear of social judgment. Another example: a guy is afraid that a girl will start laughing at him during dating and he will feel somehow wrong. There is already a sense of shame, which is the cause of fear. Thus, first you need to deal with social fears, then the fear of girls will go away.
The reason for the girls ‘ fear.
Why does the subconscious mind consider situations of dating girls dangerous and includes uncomfortable sensations? Surely each of you has friends who have always met girls easily and freely. At the same time, they could completely not know the pickup truck, receive a lot of rejections, but at the same time not experience any fears, unpleasant sensations and not engage in self-examination. So, in principle, this is possible, it remains only to understand why this is not the case for everyone.
The fact is that in the first 5-7 years of a person’s life, there is an active formation and consolidation of behavior strategies. Getting into various situations, the child unconsciously draws conclusions about how to behave in such cases in the future. If the situation is associated with any stress, then the decisions and behavioral strategies are written in the unconscious and then included in all similar situations in the future.
For example, a small boy at the age of three years approached the girl and offered to play together, and the parents who were nearby found it funny and began to laugh. The child had a sense of shame and a feeling that he was doing something wrong. Then, at the age of four, he performed at a matinee, stumbled clumsily, and everyone laughed at him. The feeling of shame increased and began to manifest itself in other similar situations — when answering at the blackboard at school, speaking at the institute, meeting in public places.
The situation from the example when the boy was 3 years old is called the core of the problem, that is, the moment when there was an increased sensitivity to the opinions of others. The situation in 4 years is called psychotrauma — it is after it that the symptom begins to appear (fear, shyness).
I’m afraid of girls. What to do?
As you probably guessed, in order to stop being afraid of girls, you need to solve the cause of the problem, that is, to find and work out the core-a forgotten situation from the past.
Now you understand why, if there is a fear of girls, it is pointless to go to pick-up trainings, set yourself tasks to do so many approaches a day, motivate yourself with promises to give money to a friend in the absence of results. The problem is deep and cannot be solved at the level of behavior or logic.
There is of course an option when the fear is shallow and it can be solved through gaining experience. In this case, after each approach, it should become easier and easier, and after a fairly short time, the fear will go away completely. But, it is unlikely that this is your case, because in that case you would not be here.
Pick-up coaches absolutely do not understand the basic principles of the structure of our psyche. How can you think of giving tasks to students to do 10 sets or give 1000 rubles?! After all, the desire to meet girls is inherent in us by nature and is conditioned by the most important evolutionary goal — the instinct of reproduction. If a person instead of getting pleasure from dating experiences the strongest fear, then a stronger program is included in the case — the survival instinct! Forcing to overcome the fear of the approach, these pukab gurus simply cripple the psyche of guys!
Is it possible to remove the fear of dating yourself? It is possible, but in practice it is difficult to implement. First, you will have to learn to go into a trance and work with yourself in this state. Secondly, you will need to master the various techniques of working with the problem and apply them correctly. Third, you will need to spend a huge amount of time, without a guarantee of obtaining sustainable results.
There are people who spend months, and even years (!) working through a reimprint or other techniques, and the problem does not completely go away. If you are still determined to try to work with the fear of the approach yourself, in this case, go to the audio hypnosis section and just start listening to all the recordings in a row.
How to remove the fear of girls quickly and effectively?
The best option for getting rid of the fear of girls is individual work with a hypnotherapist. In this case, you will first be immersed in a state of hypnosis, in which you can edit the experience. Only after that will the situation from the past be found, which was the cause of unpleasant sensations in the present.
Under hypnosis, the client himself realizes what wrong conclusions he made there and then, makes new decisions and relives situations from childhood, reacting in a new way, feeling comfortable. Then there is a test in real life and the consolidation of this new easy and confident state, when dating and communicating with girls bring joy and pleasure.