How to leave a girl like a gentleman.
So you decided to leave her. How to do this without flooding the neighbors from below? What can I say to keep her self-esteem, my self-esteem, and all the important organs of your body in place?
Since this world is full of diversity, girls are able to react very variably to messages that you do not want to be with them anymore. The range extends from “Aha, super, ciao!” to dramas of Shakespearean scale. If you suspect that your situation is closer to the latter option, it is advisable to conduct several strategic maneuvers. We were told about them by psychologist, Candidate of Sociological Sciences Anetta Orlova.
Basic rule: behave like a gentleman. “Any breakup is a blow to women’s self — esteem,” says Anetta. — If it doesn’t happen on the initiative of a girl, she has doubts about her attractiveness, sexuality.” It must be remembered that biologically girls are much less prepared for rejection than men who are strong in this regard: we have thousands of great-grandfathers behind the evolutionary shoulders, who were regularly rejected by unapproachable beauties. And the great-grandfathers managed to develop a good psychological defense against these troubles. In females, this mechanism is understandably less well-established than in males, because they often had no need for it. So take the blame, O noble reader! She’s beautiful and smart, and you’re a freak and an idiot. Everything is as usual.
Reduce the surprise effect.
So that your message does not sound like a bolt from the blue, start preparing the girl for what is happening at least a week before. Exclude sex. Withdraw into yourself. To the question “What happened?» shrug your shoulders and talk: “The most acute pain of separation is felt by people for whom it has become a complete surprise,” says Anetta. — If the girl has suspicions that something is going wrong in your relationship, she will be at least somehow prepared for the information about the breakup.”
“I am just one of those happy girls who were informed about the breakup by SMS. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you this by looking you in the eye…” my ex wrote. So I was finally convinced that he was a pathetic coward and a weakling. But it didn’t make it any easier »
Choose the right moment.
The day her cat fell off the balcony is a bad time to break up. It is also very ignoble of you to start a conversation about separation at a time when she needs to go somewhere, for example to work: the need to suppress burning fresh emotions can lead her to stress and breakdown. February 13, December 31, and her birthday — special non-stick frying pans are prepared in hell for the girls who left on these dates. “Some believe that at the festival, there will be a lot of friends and relatives around her who will be able to comfort and entertain her. But it’s not worth hoping for. First, right at the moment of shock, many people, on the contrary, want to be alone. Secondly, watching the happy couples of friends, the girl will feel especially abandoned, ” explains Anetta.
“Let him look guilty and upset, so that I feel that I’m not the only one
who feels bad.”
She won’t be able to pack you in bags in a crowded place, so bet on the cafe*. “It is generally believed that it is better to part with a girl on her territory,” says Anetta. — But that’s not always true. If she finds herself alone after you leave, she is more at risk of experiencing stress.” The presence of outsiders will help her save face — many girls, throwing a tantrum, then regret that they showed you their vulnerability.
On the other hand, you should understand that in such a situation there is a risk of an ugly public scene, and the girl is unlikely to feel grateful that you made her cry, scream and throw donuts in front of several dozen admiring viewers. So when choosing an action scene, it is important to know well the temperament of the young lady, the degree of her attachment to you and the ability to keep yourself in hand.
- Note by Phacochoerus Funtica: “Better yet, take her to an Ethiopian restaurant. There, national dishes are usually eaten with their hands — and there is no chance to catch the adam’s apple knife “
Find the right words.
“Start the conversation by listing her virtues. Then tell me that, despite all this splendor, you are not ready for a serious relationship. “It is very important to be convincing, so that the girl understands: if you were ready to go to the registry office, you would marry her.” “In a conversation, it is desirable to devalue your own merits,” says Anetta. — In almost every way, a girl asks herself from time to time: ‘Am I not worthy of the best?» And “Am I wasting my time on him?» So the appropriate response would be: “You’re just wasting your time with me. I’m not worth it.” Explain that you are not the kind of man who can surround her with care and admiration, provide her with a reliable rear and a necklace of mole teeth-things that she deserves more than anyone else. Let him think about it while you stuff your socks in your bag.
If she says that she despises worldly goods and for her the best mole in the world is you, reduce the degree of nobility and make claims. “Do not talk about her real shortcomings, concentrate on the imaginary and strange ones, which, rather, could be considered advantages,” advises Anetta. For example: “You are too sociable, empathic, extroverted and charismatic”, “I am suffocating in this vulgar philistine comfort”, “You are too attractive, I am constantly jealous and can no longer live like this”. If all this does not help and the girl continues to hang on your right leg, feel free to get off the white horse and transfer to the battered donkey. “You are good for everyone, but for some reason I am unhappy with you. It’s probably me. I’m sorry and goodbye.” An appeal to your misfortune is a woman’s move, but that is why this argument will seem clear and convincing to the girl.