How not to spoil the impression of goodbye.
How not to spoil the impression of yourself before the date.
And what to do between the first and second meeting.
Inviting someone on a date on Tinder is just as exciting as going to a urologist: not exactly convenient, but necessary. Even after you’ve plucked up the courage to take the first step, thought through all your future jokes and dialogues, and finally called a girl to a meeting, your plan may start to fall apart before you actually see each other.
As soon as the girl accepts your invitation, you enter a phase that can be called a period of possible failure. This is the interval between this consent and the actual date of the meeting, during which your interest in the person and vice versa can significantly decrease. Think about it before a date, because before that, the brightest moments were your registration in the dating app and match with a girl. This is comparable to the not-so-desirable early rise, which seems to provide you with more time to solve things, but very soon you will start to hate the nasty alarm bell at 7 am. The same goes for dating.
What should you do during this period to avoid failure? Maybe all these days constantly joking with a girl in correspondence? There is no special need for this. But it’s also wrong to say goodbye. By the time you meet a girl in some swanky bar that you’ve been choosing for a few days, she may well be convinced that you’re not the one to waste time on. This period is very important. We talked to several girls and found out what they expect from men in this painful interval and how you can avoid failure.
Don’t overdo it with the amount of communication.
The first thing you don’t have to do is fuss like a squirrel in a wheel. It’s all done. The process is running. At this stage, you can go too far and stay without a date if you send messages non-stop, especially during the working day. One of the guys said that he wrote to the girl so often that in the end, before the first date, he simply had no desire to meet her, because he was already tired of this communication, and she began to think that he was desperate.
As the girl Adrienne said: “Save your chatter for good-bye! It annoys me when a guy in a correspondence asks to paint his whole life. At such moments, I get nervous, I just want to stop the dialogue.” Besides, texting isn’t the best way to get to know a person. You either send a text of a few paragraphs of your biography, which is unlikely to be read to the end, or you respond with short messages, creating the image of a frivolous person. During live communication, you can ask additional questions, joke, open up: you have all the opportunities to appear in the best light. If you feel you need to add something to your lines, then insert a light joke – your bonus points if you decide to return to the topic again. Adrienne added that the dialogue should be playful, flirty and cute.
The exception is the situation when there is still a lot of time before the date. “If the meeting is still two weeks away, then you need to maintain a dialogue,” Adrienne said. Do not go to boring, banal topics that you do not want to discuss. Question “How was your day?» won’t make you caring. Also, do not create a situation with abstract questions of the format “Tell me something about yourself that will impress me”. Remember, you can make jokes and send memes (of course, not of an erotic nature). “Look at this weird sweater my mom bought me for my birthday.” Great move. Send safe messages that immediately read, ” I remember we’re going on a date, I’m excited, and I promise I’m not a killer.”
Make a clear plan of action.
Of course, you can write: “Hey, do you want to meet for a cup of coffee this Sunday?» And then shut up until the day of the meeting. Honestly, if you’re the one asking for a date, your request should consist of a few questions. Therefore, as soon as the girl agrees, ask: “What days are you free?” If you are a resident of the metropolis, then find out: “In which part of the city will it be more convenient to meet?» Not only will you put yourself in the best light, but your interlocutor will also be comfortable in the area that she chooses. It will look like caring and respecting her time, not your laziness. Such questions are important especially for those who have children, pets, or a very demanding boss. The longer you wait to find out all the details, the worse your impression will be. There will be a feeling that you are not paying attention to the other person, and this will eventually lead to failure.
Also, except in real emergencies, don’t reschedule your first date. Part of the organization of the plan is its implementation. A message two hours before the meeting: “I forgot that I have to help my friend, can we meet tomorrow?” is like coming to her house with a megaphone and saying directly to her face: “I’m so damn nervous about our date!”
Confirm the meeting.
Every girl we talked to mentioned that it was important to confirm the date. No one wants to come to a meeting and spend an hour trying to figure out if you’re late or not coming at all. The confirmation text is the same seal with the inscription “I remember about the date and will be on time”. If you write a simple “I’m on my way” or “See you at 4!”, then the girl will certainly understand that you are waiting for a date as much as she is. If a week has passed since your last meeting, then do not be too lazy to remind yourself the night before the rendezvous: “Is our meeting tomorrow at 7 still in force?» This should not be a test for you: you just need to give confirmation that you will be where you promised. But don’t be too mawkish and romantic: “So glad to finally meet you!” – this is already superfluous.
Don’t relax after a date.
The time between the first and second meeting is another potential period of likely failure, because there is a temptation to activate an endless and annoying dialogue that you don’t need. If you notice that you write to a girl every day from morning to evening, then you most likely look annoying. On the other hand, the absence of messages for three days is also strange. In the correct continuation of the dialogue after the date, there should be a mention of what you said during the meeting: “This morning I had breakfast in the cafe that you recommended to me. You were right, it’s a very cool place!»
But you definitely don’t want to overdo it with such messages: the good impression you created on the first date can immediately evaporate after the message “Last night was magical” or a similar pair of lines. As Audrey said, “If you text me’ Good morning, pretty girl, ‘ I’ll cancel my next date right away.” Remember the rule: you can write such messages only after the first kiss. Before that – you don’t know each other well enough.
After the third date, you leave the danger zone of potential failures. Most people don’t have the time and desire to go to a few meetings. If the spark goes out after a date, it’s not a problem with your etiquette or plan – it’s just the initial lack of chemistry between you.